Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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