Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
