you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
