Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
