Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
