who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
