is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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