Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
