real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
