Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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