My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
