my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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