I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
