margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
