She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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