I want to make a zoo with you.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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