I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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