mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
