I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
