I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
