Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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