I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
