I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
