i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
