playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
