Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize