Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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