Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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