Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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