What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
