jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
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