kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
