The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
