Me. At least after what I've been through.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
