She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i came on her dog
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I am one with the molecules
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
