You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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