a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
This can only be settled by a dance off.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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