I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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