Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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