well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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