I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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