I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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