It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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