That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
