ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
