easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
