sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
