So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
false alarm, still single
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
