on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
So many bounce houses so little time
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
