So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
