apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
