You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
