I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We need to rekindle our bromance
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize