I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
