i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
either way he was missing a nipple.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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