East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize