Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize