If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
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