This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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