I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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