Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
