I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
