worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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