everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
